Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Eyes wide open

I know. It was a horrible movie. It just seems to fit my current outlook.

So since my last post ive been examining my life alot.

Fear led most of my life. Always afraid to let people see the real me. Instead they always saw the person i wanted them to see.

For example: My old friend Kristo, the type of gay man i always wished i had the courage to be. I never told him the truth about myself. i always just said and did what i thought he wanted me to do. After of year of following him around like a puppy i finally stood up for myself and let out all my repressed anger about my friendship with him. The next week the company we both worked for went under and he cast me away, like trash. Someone i would have done anything for( and at times i did) just discards me, erased me as his friend from myspace and facebook and changes his phone. I was destroyed. more hurt from what he did to me than losing my job. Pathetic.... i know.

Now with my new outlook on life i realized that had i just been myself, been Adam maybe he would have like me just the same. Ill never know.

Im happier now than i have been in years. His loss.

This big Gay flamer is brighter than ever and no one will ever dim my light again.

Still fat........still a big old geek.........still a Big Silly Homo

and if you don't like me. Your loss.

At peace,
Adam aka Girlina Queen of the Universe

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