Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Fifth wheel: a observation of life

the number five sucks...... just to start things off.

2 is a happy pair..... 4 a group of friends......but five is an awkward number.

I'm beginning to see with more and more frequency that im always the fifth wheel. there's my two best friends who married each other. Now there's my brother who has met the most wonderful girl. then there's me.

just me

without a match


hehe. thats funny.
Im a virgin. i know i know what a weirdo. ive had sex before but it wasnt really by choice ( thats another blog all together) And you know what. I dont care. Do you have too? No! im not straight so its not as if i need to reproduce.

well that was off topic.....back to it then

As i get older i care less and less about finding a mate ( so to speak) i have the most wonderful friends: Matt and Amanda Chavez ( its funny cause neither of them are Latin in any way) Miss Candi: the world best nurse in training who can literally spend a day in high heals (im so jelous), My brother Justin; who ive grown to see that hes been my best friend all my life. the tree branches out further from there but these are my core. my life would be empty without them.

No matter what there are times that it realy sucks to be the one alone. When we go to an amusement park and all the couples get caricatures and then its my turn i always get the same look. Or you go to a restaurant and theres five of us and they cant put you at a four person table so they have to put you at a six person table and theres always that one seat left over. Or your at a crowded movie theather and i have my bag in the seat next to me so i can be comfortable and theres always that person that asks if im saving it for someone and i have to say no.

I constantly see the couples all around me pairing off as if Noah is on his way with the ark.

am i the one left behind? am i the unicorn?

As much as it bothers me i never let anyone else know about it. I always play it off. To them im the token gay guy in the group that is always checking out the fellas, giving out my brand of advice and doing it with gay flair and a quick wit. when really............ i have no idea what im doing. I look out at the world and am completely lost. Think of me as the salmon fighting upriver to get to something, but for me im fighting up river but have no idea what im doing when i get there.

After all of that I may go home to my room alone but i spent the day with my friends so maybe im not realy alone. Maybe im more lucky than i thought. Or not... I have no fucking idea.

God im a whiny bitch.. lol

content in seclusion,
Girlina Queen of the Universe
or just a Big Silly Homo

p.s. Im not a writer. i never was. i never claimed to be. i tend to go in all directions with my blog. im sorry if sometimes its hard to follow me.

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